Parental Alienation are words frequently raised by one parent during Child Arrangement Disputes. However just because you are experiencing some difficulties with your arrangements does not mean that there is Parental Alienation.
Parental alienation can occur when one parent, usually the parent with whom the child lives, turns the child against the other parent by way of psychological manipulation.
A child will then tend to side with one parent, taking on their views. Unfortunately this has become a common occurrence in disputes involving children as more awareness of the concept develops together with an understanding of the traits to look out for.
Definition Of Parental Alienation
The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) defines it as being ‘When a child’s resistance or hostility towards one parent is not justified and is the result of psychological manipulation by the other parent.’ “A psychological disturbance in which children are obsessed with deprecations and criticism of a parent – denigration that is unjustified or exaggerated”.
The child will behave in a way that they believe will please the parent instigating the alienation rather than acting on the basis of their true feelings. They will pick up on the other parent’s shortcomings and may try to punish them.
This can cause a previously close relationship to deteriorate and result in the child believing they would be happier without the alienated parent in their lives.
How can a child present when they are being exposed to Parental Alienation?
• Child lacks ambivalence ,idealising the aligned parent and denigrating the targeted parent
• Child adopts adult language and emphasising their “independent thoughts”
• Weak, frivolous and absurd rationalisations for the deprecation–don’t appear genuine
• Child rejects all the positive memories of targeted parent to focus on negative memories
• Child creates false autobiographical memories/borrowed scenarios (F never loved me)
• Child’s adamant rejection of targeted parent
• Absence of guilt over cruelty to targeted parent
• Spread of animosity to the extended family of the targeted parent
Such behaviour can have an extremely devastating affect on the targeted parent, impacting upon their relationship and feelings toward that child and also invariably their own mental health.
What behaviour can result in parental alienation?
• Speaking negatively about the other parent, to include insulting them and belittling them;
• Undermining the other parent;
• Blaming the other parent for the breakdown of the relationship;
• Letting the child believe that the other parent does not love them or that they love a sibling more;
• Letting the child believe that they have to choose between parents;
• Refusing to discuss the other parent and insisting that the child does not mention them;
• Preventing contact or making contact difficult, to include not passing on telephone messages;
• Not passing on letters or gifts from the other parent;
• Not letting the other parent know about the child’s activities and appointments such as parents’ evening, sporting events and medical issues;
• Questioning the child about the other parent after contact and asking what they talked about;
• Making the child feel afraid of the other parent.
Dealing with parental alienation
It is important to deal with parental alienation as quickly as possible as it can be damaging to a child. An experienced family law solicitor will be able to discuss whether it is appropriate to make an application to the court to ask for an order setting out what is in the child’s best interests. The court is likely to refer the issue to CAFCASS which may use its Child Impact Assessment Framework to assess the situation and to report to the Family Court Advisers.
The framework will look at issues in the following areas:
• Domestic abuse, to include direct or indirect harm caused by coercive control;
• Conflict between parents that is damaging to the child;
• Where a child is resisting spending time with one parent. This could be for a justifiable reason or because of parental alienation;
• Other harmful issues, such as the parent’s mental health problems or substance abuse.
The court will consider what it believes to be in the child’s best interests. In the case of parental alienation, it may on occasion order that the child go to live with the alienated parent.
What can a court do if there is Parental Alienation?
In more extreme cases the court will look to instruct a Psychological expert to assess both the parents and child and determine whether or not there is parental Alienation, who the perpetrator is, impact on the children and provide advice and recommendations such as therapeutic intervention which the courts can then consider when adjudicating upon the case.
Often the perpetrator is completely ignorant as to the harm they are inflicting on their children and have no insight as to the damage being caused. They are often overly insistent on the Guardian of the child / CAFCASS hearing the views of the child and present on the basis they are simply reflecting the child’s views which ought to be listened to.
Ultimately Parental Alienation, if this can be substantiated, is a form of child Abuse. The courts can look to ascertain the impact removal of the child from that parent can have on them with a view to seeking a change of residence with a view to the children living with the other parent. They can even go one step further to limit the time the child then spends with his or her parent which may also be on a supervised basis.
If you would like to speak to one of our expert family lawyer ring us on 0151 8 32 32 53 or email us at info@174familylaw.co.uk. Alternatively you can arrange an appointment to speak with one of our team here
